


The Real Reason Sirius Black Hated Severus Snape

by Crayonlighting



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Bisexual Severus Snape, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Breaking Up & Making Up, Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt, Engagement, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Gay Sirius Black, Good Severus Snape, Hair Washing, Hair-pulling, Headaches & Migraines, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Inappropriate Late Night Conversations, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, M/M, Making Out, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s), Minor Sirius Black/Original Male Character(s), Mutual Pining, Out of Character Severus Snape, Out of Character Sirius Black, Period-Typical Homophobia, Potions, Prefect Severus Snape, Professor Sirius Black, Regulus Black & Severus Snape Friendship, Resolved Sexual Tension, Secret Relationship, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin Friendship, Sirius Black Always Being Late, Sirius Black Being an Asshole, Soft Sirius Black, Vomiting, Workplace Relationship, Young Lily Evans Potter, Young Regulus Black, Young Remus Lupin, Young Severus Snape, Young Sirius Black, boys crying, no bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:01:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crayonlighting/pseuds/Crayonlighting
Summary: In an Alternate Universe, the real reason Sirius Black hated Severus Snape wasn't because of something he'd said or did, but something Severus decided not to do, date Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Comments: 24
Kudos: 126





	1. The Sound of Breaking Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> The summary sounds a little unhealthy, but I really do try to keep their relationship fairly healthy and consensual, with that in mind, please read the tags, though there is no sexual content while they are underage, some is implied very briefly, please see the tags and make sure you are okay reading this content before you continue.  
> In this AU Sirius and James were not bullies, and they never played that prank involving Remus on Severus. Voldemort does not exist in this universe, therefore Severus does not run with Death Eater. It's a more "traditional" High School experience for them. But with Magic and stuff.  
> Part 1 of this fic takes place in the Marauder's Era while they're all still at Hogwarts. Part 2 takes place twenty years later in 1993 (I know it sounds weird, but you'll see why in the beginning of part 2, I promise the timeline will make sense). Both parts are written, and chapter 2 will post next Friday, and will be the conclusion of this story.

Sirius gently runs his hand through his hair, the loose waves, of his black hair falling over his shoulder and slightly down his back, as he moves the hair from in front of his face, as he leans back against the tree at the edge of the lake.

“How was your exam?” a gentle voice asks.

Sirius looks over at his boyfriend, as he steps up on the other side of the tree, where no one could see him from the castle, just the way Sirius always wanted it.

“Severus,” Sirius says softly, moving to get a better look at him.

“Yes, Sirius?” Severus asks wondering why Sirius had this strange expression on his face, “Is everything alright?” he asks meeting Sirius’s eyes.

“No,” Sirius says quietly, gently reaching for Severus’s hand letting their fingers interlace, watching Severus’s sallow skin next to his own rather pale skin, and he sighs softly.

“What’s wrong?” Severus asks looking back at Sirius, “Is this about last night?” he asks.

“No,” Sirius says quickly, “You were perfect,” he says, “You are perfect,” he mutters.

Severus blushes lightly, “Then what’s got you so upset?” he asks.

Sirius sighs letting go of Severus’s hand, looking him in the eye, “I’m breaking up with you,” Sirius says crossing his arms over his chest tightly, suddenly wishing he could seek comfort in Severus’s arms wanting Severus to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

“What?” Severus asks staring back at Sirius, “But you just said-“

“And I meant it,” Sirius says, “You are perfect,” he says firmly.

“I don’t understand,” Severus says looking over Sirius, “What have I done wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Sirius says instinctively reaching for Severus’s hand grasping tightly, “It’s not about you at all, you’ve done nothing wrong,” Sirius says.

Severus sighs softly, pulling his hand away from Sirius, “Then why are you breaking up with me?” he asks crossing his arms over his chest.

Sirius sighs, “It’s complicated,” Sirius says knowing the reasoning didn’t even make sense to him.

“Simplify it,” Severus says coldly, a tone of voice Sirius had heard him take with others but never with him.

Sirius sighs again, “We’re too young to be this committed to each other,” he says quietly.

Severus frowns, “And you get to make that decision for me, do you?” he asks.

“I just mean, we’re acting like this is going to end up in marriage,” Sirius mutters.

“Is this some kind of pure blood, arranged marriage thing?” Severus asks.

“No,” Sirius murmurs, “It’s nothing like that,” he says.

“If you don’t want to be with me anymore Sirius, just say so,” Severus says.

“It’s not that at all,” Sirius says quickly.

“That’s what this sounds like,” Severus says looking back at Sirius.

“I’m just afraid,” Sirius says finally, looking back at Severus.

“Afraid of what Sirius?” Severus asks.

“This,” Sirius admits, “Becoming more than what it is already,” he mutters, “Being so serious, so young-“

“If you want to see other people, then that’s your right,” Severus says interrupting Sirius.

“I don’t,” Sirius says quickly, “Not really,” he says, “I just think this much commitment, might limit us later in life,” he mutters.

Severus is quiet for several long minutes, “I’m not going to wait for you to figure out what it is you want,” he decides, “If you really want this done, that’s it then,” he mutters.

Sirius sighs heavily, looking over at Severus, “I love you, Severus.”

Severus looks back at Sirius, “I love you too, Sirius,” he says, “But I’ll find a way to get over it,” he mutters turning away for Sirius, not wanting him to see the tears that were now forming in his eyes, rapidly.

“Severus,” Sirius says watching him.

“Space, Sirius,” Severus says quickly, “I need some from you right now,” he says before walking off toward the castle, quickly wiping at his eyes to hide his tears as he makes his way down to his dorm room, where he stayed in bed the entire rest of the weekend.

On Monday morning Severus had composed himself enough to make it to breakfast, where he was promptly stopped just outside the great hall by his best friend.

“Severus,” Lily says reaching for his arm, “You never returned any of my notes this weekend,” she says, “I know you got them, I’ve gotten really good at that charm,” she insists.

Severus looks back at Lily, “Your charm was perfect,” he says, suddenly reminded of the last conversation he had with Sirius. Sirius had said he was perfect. _Not perfect enough_ , Severus thinks to himself.

“What’s wrong?” Lily asks gently leading Severus into the great hall, where they sat together for breakfast.

“Nothing,” Severus says pouring himself a bowl of cereal and picking up a piece of dry toast.

“You know you can’t lie to me Sev,” she says, “I know when you’re being untruthful,” she insists, pouring them both some orange juice.

“It’s nothing,” he says again.

“Is it about your boyfriend?” Lily asks quietly.

“Shh,” Severus hisses, “Not so loud,” he mutters.

Lily rolls her eyes, “I was whispering,” she insists.

Severus rolls his eyes and pours some milk over his cereal before putting a spoonful into his mouth.

“So, does it have something to do with him?” Lily presses.

Severus sighs, “He broke up with me,” he says quietly, “And I don’t want to talk about it, Lily.”

“Sev!” she cries, “You should have come to me!”

“There’s nothing that you could have done,” Severus insists.

“I could have comforted you and been there like your best friend is supposed to be after a breakup,” Lily says, “I’m so sorry, Severus.”

“It’s fine Lily,” he says softly, “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

All through Potions Severus couldn’t stop himself watching the long mane of loose waves dance across Sirius’s shoulders whenever he would move. Severus smiles when Sirius’s long hair gets caught in the buckle of his bag when he reaches down to get his inkpot from inside his bag.

“Fucking twat,” James Potter teases as Sirius wrestles with the buckle on his bag, freeing his hair loose.

Severus thinks back to the countless times he had untangled Sirius’s hair from that same buckle, in the library on many of their late-night study sessions.

_“You should just cut it, it’s going to keep getting caught,” Severus says softly, gently pulling the strands of hair free from the buckle, all while trying not to pull too hard._

_Sirius smiles back at him, “I’ll never cut it,” he says, “Beauty always has a price.”_

_“It is beautiful,” Severus smiles gently stoking Sirius’s hair, his fingers curling around each wave as his hand passes down the length of his hair._

_Sirius smiles, “You are beautiful,” he says, before leaning over pressing the softest of kisses to Severus’s lips._

_Severus blushes and his stomach flips in excitement._

“So, what are you going to do?” Lily asks nudging Severus’s arm, as she flips through her potions book.

“Huh?” Severus mumbles looking over at Lily, “What are you talking about?”

Lily frowns, “Were you even listening to Professor Slughorn?”

“No,” Severus admits with a light blush, “What are we supposed to be doing?”

Lily chuckles, “He’s asked us to pick a potion from the book, and create it, turn it in for credit,” she says, “I assume since we’re all done with our O.W.L.s he didn’t have an actual lesson planned.”

“Right,” Severus says, opening his book deciding he’d create the first thing the page turned to, The Draught of Peace, how fitting, Severus thinks to himself.

At the end of the week, Severus is stowing his trunk in an empty compartment, Sirius usually rode the train back home with him, they would talk the whole time and Sirius would pull out some muggle magazine he’d thought Severus had never seen before and talk his ear off about all the cool things in them for over an hour. Severus always just smiled and listened patiently even though he had almost all of these things at home, it made him happy to see how happy Sirius was. Or well it used to. Severus sits down looking out the window, trying not to think of when he and Sirius rode the train up to school. They had been dating for about six weeks at the time, and all Sirius could think about was kissing Severus. They sat in quiet anticipation until someone left the compartment for a snack or a restroom break, and the second the door was closed Sirius was all over Severus, and Severus couldn’t stop smiling as they kissed, and was unable to hide to blush that stained his cheeks whenever they would break apart when someone returned to the compartment.

Sirius walks through the halls of the train with Remus, as they look for a compartment to sit in.

“Oh, Severus is sitting by himself,” Remus says softly, going to open the door.

“No,” Sirius says quickly, grabbing onto Remus’s hand.

Remus frowns, “What is wrong with you?” he asks, “Severus is alright, he might not be as cool as Sirius Black, but he’s very nice.”

Sirius rolls his eyes, “I know he’s nice,” he says, “I don’t care how cool he is, I just-“ Sirius sighs, “Let’s find somewhere else, please Moony?”

Reus rolls his eyes, “Fine,” he mutters giving in, letting Sirius find them a suitable compartment.

When Sirius gets off the train he can’t help but notice Severus standing with a taller woman, who looked like she had tasted something sour, and it reminded him of the same face Severus made that time he gave him some sour candy he bought in a muggle shop, and they laughed about Severus’s sour face all afternoon.

Sirius doesn’t mean to, but he can’t help himself watching the intimate moment of his lover with his mother. Sirius watches as she gently strokes her hand over Severus’s long dark hair, gently tucking a stray strand behind his ear. Severus gives her a small smile as she leaves the left side of his face open to the sun. Severus doesn’t even move to put the hair back in front of his face, where he usually kept it. Sirius had an inkling he might prefer when his mother showed him this kind of affection. Sirius watches as Severus’s mother presses a gentle kiss to the top of his head, before wrapping her arm around his shoulder and leading him from the train platform.

Sirius glances over his shoulder when he hears one of the younger students swearing and he smirks, “Don’t let mum hear you, Reg,” Sirius says walking over to his little brother, helping him pick up his trunk.

Regulus looks up at Sirius, and laughs lightly, “Yeah, remember when she heard you swearing last summer, she put a bar of soap into your mouth and charmed it so you couldn’t remove it,” he laughs.

Sirius grimaces, he could taste the soap in his mouth for over a month. He distinctly remembering Severus commenting on the taste of soap in his mouth every time they kissed.

“Okay, that’s it, I’m not going another day with you and this look on your face,” Remus says.

It’s a month into the summer holiday, and Sirius and Remus had met up to get ice cream.

“What are you talking about, Moony?” Sirius asks.

“You’ve had this depressed look on your face for an entire month,” Remus says, “Every time I ask you what’s wrong you say nothing and continue sulking about,” he insists, “Tell me what’s wrong Sirius, I only want to help.”

Sirius sighs shoving some ice cream into his mouth, “You can’t help Rem,” he says softly.

“Tell me what’s the matter, Pads,” Remus says, gently placing his hand upon Sirius’s knee in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

Sirius smiles at Remus, “Thanks Rem,” he says softly.

Remus sighs softly, “Let me help you, Sirius,” he says softly.

“I can’t tell you everything,” he says after a moment, “Only some things.”

“Okay,” Remus says, deciding that was better than nothing.

“Last summer, I started seeing someone,” he says, “Round this time,” Sirius continues, “We dated all last year.”

Remus frowns, “You never said you were seeing anyone, why didn’t you tell us?” he asks, “Is that why you turned down Rebecca when she asked you out?”

Sirius nods, “That’s why,” he confirms, “But I broke up with them almost a month ago,” he sighs heavily, “And I’m just sad about that I suppose.”

Remus frowns, “Why did you break up with them?” he asks, “Did something happen?”

“Not really, no,” Sirius mutters.

“Well, what happened?” Remus asks again.

Sirius sighs, “Nothing really, I got scared,” he says honestly, “We were getting very serious, very fast, and I was afraid of being too committed, I suppose.”

Remus sighs gently rubbing his hand over Sirius’s back, “Oh Sirius,” he says, “Did they not make you happy?” he asks.

“Moony,” Sirius says looking over at his friend, “I’ve never been happier than when I was with them,” he says.

“Then this is stupid,” Remus decides, “You should go to him, right now.”

Sirius stares back at Remus with wide eyes, “Remus,” he gasps looking around.

Reus rolls his eyes, “C’mon Sirius, I’m not thick, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, you think I never noticed the way you looked at,” he pauses, “Certain people, of the same gender,” he says quietly.

Sirius stares in shock at Remus, “Rem,” he mutters.

“I’ll never tell a soul Sirius,” Remus says, “That’s for you to decide, but if someone makes you happy you should be with them,” he insists, “Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, and don’t you want to be with someone who you care about? And who cares about you too?”

Severus is sitting at the desk in his room reading an old book his mother gave him last Yule when there’s a knock at the door and the door opens without an invitation.

“You know I hate ruddy owls coming in the house,” Tobias Snape says grimly as he holds out a brown parcel to his son.

“Sorry dad,” Severus mumbles, he hadn’t expected anything from anyone, but he accepts the parcel from his father, “I wasn’t expecting anything,” he says quietly. If Severus knew to expect an owl, he would usually wait by the fireplace so the owl wouldn’t disturb his father. His father didn’t care for the way magical post was delivered.

“Keep it down in here,” Tobias says before shutting the door, leaving his son alone.

“I’ll try my best,” Severus mutters as he begins to tear into the brown paper on the parcel, revealing a dark blue box with a white lid. Severus takes the lid off the top of the box and sighs heavily. He should just close the box right now, but Sirius’s scent is all over the inside of the box and he can’t help himself. Severus unpacks the box, there are candies, both of the witching and muggle variety, and there’s a stupid Pink Floyd t-shirt that Sirius wore several times last summer, that Severus always seemed fond of, but he really just liked the way it looked on Sirius. At the bottom of the box was a note, in Sirius’s handwriting.

_If you don’t hate me, meet me tonight at our place, don’t write back, I’ll be waiting, if you show up great, if you don’t that’s fine too._

_\--Love, Sirius_

Severus did the only thing he could think of.

Lily smiles helping herself to the candy inside the box, “And you think he sent you this box, so you would forgive him and get back with him?” she asks tearing into a lollypop, sticking the candy in her mouth.

“I’m almost positive that’s it,” Severus says biting into a jelly slug, “He got all my favorites,” he mutters.

“Well, it’s what I would expect,” she says, “So are you going to meet him?”

“I don’t know Lils,” Severus says, “I want to, but I don’t want to at the same time,” he sighs, “I’m not a plaything he can just decide he’s tired of and toss aside for something else,” Severus says.

“Is he dating someone else?” Lily asks curiously.

“I don’t know,” Severus says honestly, “I haven’t heard, but I haven’t been asking about.”

“I can’t believe you won’t tell me who it is,” Lily says, “Even after that asshole broke up with you.”

Severus sighs, “It’s not my place,” he says, “He wanted it secret for a reason, and I may be upset with him right now, but I still respect his right to keep it private.”

“You’re so good Severus,” Lily says leaning over pressing a gentle kiss to Severus’s cheek.

“Lily,” he mutters, as he blushes at the sudden display of affection.

Lily smiles, “I love you, Sev.”

“I love you too Lily,” Severus smiles.

It’s late, after his curfew, but here Severus was standing at the edge of the river. It was their spot after all. The place they used to come to be alone together. They spent almost every night together here last August, kissing by the riverbank, Sirius getting bits of grass caught in his hair, and Severus can remember every touch of Sirius’s fingers against his skin.

“I didn’t think you would come,” Sirius says quietly, stepping up from the river’s edge as Severus approaches.

“I wasn’t going to,” Severus says honestly.

“I understand,” Sirius mutters.

“I came to tell you that you’re wasting your time,” Severus says after a moment of silence had fallen between them, “You buying me candies and giving me your favorite muggle clothes, isn’t going to change what happened,” he says, “You broke up with me Sirius, you needed to be free to do whatever it is you think you need to do,” Severus says, “And I’m not waiting for you.”

“No,” Sirius says quickly, looking Severus in the eyes, “I don’t want you to wait for me,” he insists, “And I don’t need to be free, I’ve never felt freer than when I was with you,” he says, “I made a mistake, Moony said I was being paranoid,” he says quickly, “That I’m letting fear rule my mind or something.”

Severus frowns, “You told your friends about me?” he asks quietly and immediately regrets it, he wasn’t here to look for reasons to get back with Sirius, he was here to tell him to leave him the hell alone, but Severus couldn’t help it, he did still love Sirius after all. That was going to take some time to get over.

Sirius bites his lip, knowing that Severus didn’t want him to be ashamed of who he was, it was a conversation they had more than once.

“He told me if I care for you that I should be with you, no matter what,” Sirius says quietly.

“I’m not a plaything that you can just decide you’re tired of and move onto something else when the next best thing comes around,” Severus says quickly.

“I know that,” Sirius says softly, “I never meant you to feel that way,” he mutters, “I’m sorry, Severus. I still love you, Sev,” he says quietly.

 _I love you too_ , Severus thinks but doesn’t say aloud.

“Please Sev, I’m willing to do anything to show you how much I want you back,” Sirius says.

“Did you ever think that I didn’t want you back?” Severus asks quietly, crossing his arms over his chest.

The thought had never entered Sirius’s mind.

“You don’t want to be with me?” Sirius asks with genuine hurt and sadness in his voice.

“I was happy with the way things were between us,” Severus says quietly, turning away from Sirius, “They weren’t perfect, but I was happy,” he mutters, “You’re the one who broke up with me,” he insists, “Told me you didn’t want to be with me for whatever ridiculous reason.”

“I made a mistake,” Sirius says looking back at Severus, “I’m so sorry, Sev.”

Severus sighs heavily, “I’m not going to give you a chance to make the same mistake twice,” he says firmly, before turning to leave.

“Severus!” Sirius calls after him, “Sev, please!”

“Goodbye, Sirius,” Severus says.

It’s the first day of sixth year, Lily and Severus had spent quite a bit of time together the last half of summer. Lily trying to convince Severus to take Ancient Runes with her this term. Severus didn’t see the point of taking Ancient Runes, it was a dead language. But Lily was studying to be a healer, and she thought it might be useful at some point. Severus gave in but told Lily not to be surprised if he decided to drop the class for something more practical. Severus didn’t know what he wanted to do after school, but he still had two years to think about it.

When Sirius Black walks into Ancient Runes, ten minutes late, Severus decides at that very moment, “I’m dropping this class.”

Lily frowns, looking over at Severus, “Oh, come on Sev,” she says, “I know he’s annoying, but he’s harmless,” she says even though she didn’t know the real reason Severus didn’t want to be around Sirius, “Just ignore him.”

Sirius swallows thickly, “Sorry I’m late,” he mutters looking around to find an empty seat, taking the empty seat in the back of the class, behind where Lily and Severus were sitting.

Severus glares down at his desk, he was expected to have Advanced Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Advanced Charms, and Advanced Transfiguration with Sirius Black, he should not also be subjected to having to take electives with him as well.

Severus glares down at his desk for two full minutes, before he can’t stand another moment of the way he could feel Sirius staring at the back of his head, with some look only Sirius Black could muster, _and_ look good doing. It infuriated Severus. He gets up grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder, as he walks toward the door.

“We barely got through the first page,” Sirius says aloud, “This is an advanced level class, I guess he wasn’t clever enough to get it.”

Severus stops walking, glaring over his shoulder at Sirius, whilst the other students in the class began laughing at his comments.

Sirius glances over at Severus for a brief moment and _forces_ a smile to his lips, even though smiling was the last thing Sirius felt like doing right now. Half of him cannot believe he just insulted his lover like this, Severus was probably the smartest in their year, and he’d just called him dim in front of an entire class. Sirius felt sick. He didn’t feel this way about Severus, but his feelings were hurt that Severus didn’t want to date him anymore even if Sirius was the reason they weren’t together anymore, it didn’t make it hurt any less that they weren’t together.

Severus manages to tear his eyes away from Sirius’s face, before leaving the classroom with as much composure as he could muster. Only allowing himself to cry once he was alone in the bathroom. Sirius had never been that mean to him before, ever. He just called him stupid in front of an entire class. Was this the way Sirius really felt about Severus? If it was then why did he spend an entire year dating him? Did Sirius think he was stupid the entire time they were dating? Did Sirius just feel sorry for him? Why was this happening to him? All Severus wanted was to be loved by Sirius, but Sirius had just made it appallingly clear that Sirius did not love him, and possibly never did.

It’s November, Sirius walks into the Great Hall with some delighted smirk upon his face as he sits down for lunch. Severus just rolls his eyes and attempts to finish his soup. He didn’t care if it was Sirius’s birthday, he hated watching Sirius get all of this attention and looking so pleased while he was sat here suffering.

“He’s such a drama queen,” A low voice says, dripping with disdain.

Severus looks up from his soup, as Regulus Black sits down across the table from him, “He’s always had a flair for the dramatics.”

“Mum said he’d do well in the Dramatic Arts Academy but she wouldn’t pay for it, because he’d just skive off studying like he does everything else,” Regulus says, “They fight all the time at home, he’s always doing the opposite of what she wants, but she should have known better when he was sorted into Gryffindor, and not Slytherin like the rest of us,” he says helping himself to a sandwich.

“He’s your brother,” Severus says a moment later, “Why do you talk about him like that?” he asks quietly, wondering if he had a brother if they would get on or not.

“He’s my brother, but he’s still a complete ass,” Regulus says, “More so now that you’re not together,” he says in a hushed tone.

“Regulus,” Severus gasps in shock, he couldn’t believe that Regulus had just said that to him, and in public, and he couldn’t believe that Regulus could have known such a thing. Did Sirius tell him?

Regulus rolls his eyes, “He’s my brother, we talk sometimes,” he says, “After he told me about…well you know,” he says.

Sirius, being gay.

“I put one and one together and came up with you two,” Regulus says, “You’re the only other person he’s ever told, and it’s in the way he talks about you,” he mutters.

Severus frowns, “He doesn’t feel that way anymore,” he mutters.

“I also know when he’s lying,” Regulus says, “He almost never means the things he says in front of other people,” he says, “He’s trying to keep up appearances.”

Severus sighs not knowing what to say to this.

“He’s a Scorpio, you know,” Regulus continues, “He only trusts a few, I doubt he even trusts those friends of his enough to tell them.”

“He hasn’t told them,” Severus confirms.

“Exactly,” Regulus says looking over at Severus, “I’m sorry he’s been so horrible to you lately, he has problems internalizing his feelings, so he externalizes them,” he says, “I remember one time mum was angry with me, I was caught doing something I shouldn’t have been,” he mutters with a slight smile, “And he got so angry with her for the way she yelled at me, and when she slapped me he hit her back, he called mum a raging bitch, who’s expectations were too high of her kids and said it didn’t matter if we were pureblood and didn’t care what we were expected to be like, he then told her that she needed to come live in the new century, and then he lit the Christmas tree on fire burned down all the presents and one of our antique pianos,” Regulus says smiling at the memory.

“That sounds like Sirius,” Severus says quietly, trying not to imagine the way he knew it felt to be struck by a parent, he feels horribly knowing that Regulus was subjected to this abuse, and he suddenly had an even heavier pit in his stomach to know that Sirius was also subjected to this abuse at home.

“My point is if he didn’t care he wouldn’t feel the need to say those mean things,” Regulus says, “I know it’s no excuse, and he shouldn’t say horrible things to you and about you like that, but he’s hurting and he doesn’t know what to do with his pain,” Regulus sighs.

Severus looks down into his bowl of half-eaten tomato soup, “I’m hurting too,” he whispers.

“I know,” Regulus says quietly, gently reaching under the table grabbing hold of Severus’s hand, “I’m so sorry Severus,” he says holding Severus’s hand in what he hoped was comforting to the other Slytherin.

It’s nearly four months later, Severus is in the library looking through the shelves for a book on minerals and crystals, Regulus and Lily were sitting a few feet away at one of the tables working on a Potions essay and a Herbology essay. Lily and Regulus were having a whispered conversation as not to alert the librarian of their presence. Severus walks around the corner, as he continues searching for a book that might have what he was looking for.

“Speak of the devil,” A voice murmurs from behind him.

Severus sighs and turns around looking at Sirius, crossing his arms over his chest, “Something I can help you with Sirius?”

“No,” Sirius says letting his eyes wander down Severus’s thin frame and back up his body, meeting his eyes.

“Then goodbye,” Severus says turning around suddenly reminded of the last time Sirius had snuck upon him in the library, Severus had ended up pressed up against a shelf of books about advanced transfiguration, and Sirius’s lips were on his kissing him, and his hands were pulling him closer as close as they could physically get whilst still wearing their clothes and in such a public setting.

“I’m starting to get the impression that you only liked me to get to my baby brother,” Sirius says, watching Severus try to find a book.

This stops Severus in his tracks, he spins around so fast he’s sure he’s given himself whiplash, “How dare you!” he hisses.

“I can’t help but notice what’s right in front of my eyes,” Sirius says nonchalantly.

“We are just friends,” Severus insists, “But even if we weren’t, its none of your business.”

“He’s my baby brother, of course, it’s my business who he’s spending his time with,” Sirius says.

Severus looks at Sirius, “If you were half as good a boyfriend as you are a brother, then maybe we would have actually stood a chance,” he says in a quiet whisper.

“I’m a great boyfriend,” Sirius mutters.

“Ex-Boyfriend,” Severus says crossing his arms over his chest again.

Sirius rolls his eyes, “Just stop getting handsy with my brother will you.”

Severus scoffs, “We’re just friends,” he says again, “But if he were to get _handsy_ with me, then there wouldn’t be a damn thing you could do about it, is there Sirius?”

The jealousy inside Sirius rises so quickly that the words leave his mouth faster than his brain could process what he was saying, “Figures he would want my hand-me-downs.”

Severus stares at Sirius with a look of shock. Had Sirius honestly just said he was no better than an old sweater to him? And implying that he would only be with Regulus as a way to get back at him.

The shock is also apparent on Sirius’s face, he can’t believe those words had just left his mouth, what the fuck was he thinking? That’s one of the most disgusting things he’s ever heard before, and he had said it. To the person he loved. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Severus-“ Sirius says in a choked whisper, as he sees the tears spring to Severus’s eyes.

Severus isn’t able to hide his tears this time, they’re spilling from his eyes without his permission, and he can’t let Sirius have the satisfaction. He runs in the opposite direction, right past Regulus and Lily, not even bothering to pick up his bag as he runs out of the library in tears.

Regulus looks up as Severus runs past them, catches a glimpse of his brother standing between a row of books, and immediately shoves his books and scrolls into his bag and rushes out of the library, calling after Severus.

Lily gets up walking over to Sirius, “What the fuck did you do, Black?” Lily asks not bothering to keep her voice down.

“I-I-“ Sirius isn’t even sure what he did, and he can’t even explain it.

“I don’t know what the problem with you two is, Merlin knows Severus won’t ever tell the truth about it, but don’t you think this is a little petty,” Lily accuses, “Calling him dim in front of an entire class, the constant making fun of him in the halls,” she continues, “What did he ever do to deserve any of this from you?” Lily asks, “And now you’ve apparently said something so horrendous he’s in tears,” she says, “Get over yourself Sirius, you’re an asshole.”

Sirius Black was a complete and utter asshole.

Lily crams all of her things into her bag, clears the table of both her and Severus’s belongings, and picks up both their bags and leaves the library after Regulus and Severus.

Lily knows Severus well enough to know he would go to the nearest private place to cry, which meant he was in the bathroom. She walks into the boy’s toilets at the end of the hall and is immediately met with embarrassed chatter.

“This is a boy’s toilet,” A younger Ravenclaw student informs her.

“I’m not blind,” Lily says plainly and starts walking toward the back cubicles where she saw Regulus standing in front of the door.

“You’re a girl, you can’t be in here,” the Ravenclaw says.

“Get over it,” Lily says fiercely, “I’m not interested in your tiny dick,” she says, “So either have a piss and shut up or find another toilet.”

Regulus can’t help but smile at Lily, as she walks up beside him.

“Sev,” Lily says softly, “Let me in.”

“I can’t Lily,” Severus says, and it’s clear he’s still crying.

“Severus, come on,” Regulus says softly, “At least tell us what he said.”

“It’s too vile,” Severus mumbles through his tears, burying his face in his hands, “I can’t,” Severus had never told Lily that Sirius was the one he’d dated all last year, and he couldn’t tell her now.

“Sev, I love you,” Lily says, “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I just need to be alone,” Severus says quietly, completely unable to stop the tears from falling from his eyes.

“No,” Lily insists, “You need your friends, just let us give you a hug at least,” she sighs.

Severus sighs thinking how it would be nice to have a hug, after what Sirius had just said to him. He unlocks the door, and immediately Lily wraps her arms around Severus pulling him into a big hug.

“I am so sorry, Severus,” Regulus whispers as he joins in on the hug, wrapping his arms around both Severus and Lily.

Severus doesn’t try to hide his tears, he doesn’t care if others can see him crying, all that mattered was that his two friends were comforting him right now, and Regulus was allowing him to cry on his shoulder about how much of an asshole his brother was being to him.

At dinner, Lily sits with Regulus and Severus, and Lily gives Severus two extra helpings of desserts, which Severus doesn’t necessarily want, but appreciates the sentiment. When Sirius Black sits down at the table beside Severus, Lily immediately gets defensive.

“Leave Sirius,” Lily says firmly.

“I just came to apologize,” Sirius says quickly, “I never should have said what I said Severus, I’m so sorry,” he says ignoring Lily.

“Sirius, you need to go,” Regulus says.

Severus doesn’t say anything, he can’t speak, he can’t decide what he’s thinking at this moment.

“Severus, I didn’t mean that,” Sirius says, “I didn’t mean any of it, I’m sorry,” he says looking at Severus.

“Go away Sirius,” Severus manages.

“Severus,” he murmurs, “I know I hurt you-“

Severus had stood up, and pushed an entire pudding onto Sirius’s lap, whipped cream was smeared down the front of his robes, and Regulus looked on in shock as Severus picked up a bowl of rice pudding and poured it over the top of Sirius’s head.

Lily gasps in shock and awe as she watched Severus reach for a glass full of a fizzy beverage that belonged to Lucinda Talkalot and pour the glass over Sirius’s lap.

Everyone in the great hall was staring at them.

“My hair,” Sirius whimpers in a tone which indicated he was about to start crying any moment. He knew he deserved this, but he was still shocked and hurt Severus would do this, and now everyone was staring at him, and people were going to start talking and rumors would start and Sirius didn’t know how to handle this.

“I asked you to leave,” Severus whispers, suddenly aware of what he did, he can’t believe he’d just poured pudding all over Sirius’s hair, he felt awful about it. He had a moment of blind anger and had done something he immediately regretted.

“Detention!” Professor McGonagall says rushing down from the staff table, “Mister Snape, what were you thinking?!” she asks, “One week’s detention!”

“No, Professor McGonagall,” Sirius says, “It was my fault,” his voice was so frail, Severus had never seen Sirius this upset before, and this time he was the cause of it, “He wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for me,” he murmurs, “Don’t punish him.”

“I don’t care,” Professor McGonagall says, “Mister Snape you need to control your actions,” she insists, “One-week detention!”

Severus nods accepting his punishment, “I’m sorry,” he says looking down at Sirius.

Sirius nods, “It’s okay,” Sirius whimpers standing up from the table, excess pudding dripping off of his robes onto the table and the floor as he excuses himself from the table, and Severus can see the tears forming in Sirius’s eyes and he can’t stand it.

Severus walks after Sirius out of the great hall, “I am so sorry Sirius,” Severus says quietly, “I never meant-“

“It’s alright,” Sirius says, and it’s unmistakable now, Sirius Black was full-on crying.

Severus didn’t know what to say or what to do, he did the only thing he could think of, the only thing that came naturally to him, he wrapped his arms around Sirius, and Sirius clung tightly to Severus’s body, as he cried into the shoulder of his robes.

After several long minutes standing in the hallway, Severus sighs, “Let’s get this out of your hair,” he says softly.

“Okay,” Sirius sniffles, but nods in agreement allowing Severus to help him.

Severus takes Sirius upstairs to the prefects’ bathroom, giving the password dropping Sirius’s hand before going to turn on the shower, before walking over to Sirius beginning to help him undress. Severus sighs heavily, as he unbuttons the sticky buttons on Sirius’s robes, dropping the length of fabric onto the floor, before helping Sirius out of his shirt, and trousers.

“Come on,” Severus coaxes softly, holding his hand out for Sirius.

Sirius takes hold of Severus’s hand, allowing him to help him into the shower cubical. The moment the water began rinsing the rice pudding out of his hair, Sirius started to feel like he could breathe again.

Sirius stiffens when the shower curtain closes behind him. Not because he was indecent, but because he’d just realized Severus was standing beside him, completely naked, as he was, and it brought back the memories of the only other time they showered together. One of the happiest memories Sirius ever had.

“Severus,” Sirius whispers, and Severus just nods before beginning to run his fingers through Sirius’s sticky hair, working the pudding out of his hair.

Once Severus had gotten all the pudding out of Sirius’s hair, Sirius looks at Severus and he still sees the boy he fell in love with. Sirius is not sure what came over him, but he pulls Severus close against his body, wrapping his arms around Severus’s waist and kissing him on the mouth. Severus gasps, but kisses Sirius back, wrapping his arms around Sirius’s neck, as Sirius’s tongue slides past his lips and brushes against his own tongue.

Severus’s lips are swollen when they break apart, the water from the shower causing their wet hair to stick to both their foreheads and Severus was suddenly very aware of both erections between them. He turns away in mild shame. It wasn’t the first time Sirius had seen him like this, but he told himself it wasn’t going to happen again, and here they were, naked, aroused, in a shower together, and Sirius is all that Severus wants.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius whispers, his voice being drowned out by the sound of the running water hitting the tile floor of the shower.

“I should hate you,” Severus says closing his eyes.

Sirius swallows, “You should hate me,” he agrees looking back at Severus.

“I can’t,” Severus whimpers, “I can’t hate you, I tried, I just can’t,” his voice breaks.

Sirius takes a deep breath, sighing softly, “I’m sorry,” Sirius says again.

“It hurts so much,” Severus whispers, clutching onto Sirius’s shoulder, “You did this.”

“I know,” Sirius mutters, “I know.”

Severus sighs heavily looking back at Sirius, “You can’t ever know,” he says looking at Sirius before pressing his lips firmly against Sirius’s, kissing him hard on the mouth.

Sirius kisses him back, pulling Severus close against his body.

It went without saying that this was never to happen again.

Much like Sirius had thought, rumors had started that very night. The entire school invented a rivalry between the two boys, and they were seen as enemies from that moment on. Even if Sirius Black and Severus Snape took no action to feed into these rumors. Both boys simply avoided each other from that day on, but the damage had been done.


	2. Before You Start a War You Better Know What You're Fighting for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year is 1993, and Severus has been stuck in his boring office job for the last ten years. Sirius Black is nothing more than a wrecking ball that comes crashing into Severus's neatly planned out life, and Sirius Black is _always_ late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter was borrowed from The Cab ♥
> 
> Note :: Explicit Sexual Content

In the years that followed their graduation Lily Evans became Lily Potter, joined St. Mungo's staff as a Healer, and had one child with James Potter, they named him Harry. James Potter became head of the Auror Department at the Ministry of Magic. Remus Lupin went on to take a job with the Ministry working in the Department of Magical Education. Sirius Black went on to work with at the Ministry with the department of Magical Law Enforcement as a Hit Wizard, a job he lost in 1990. Peter Pettigrew _accidentally_ outed Sirius Black as homosexual, at a Ministry sanctioned event. By Monday morning Sirius Black no longer had a job with the Ministry of Magic. Regulus Arcturus Black graduated Hogwarts and was immediately recruited to play Quidditch for Puddlemere United as their new Seeker. Severus Snape had graduated and took a position within the Ministry of Magic, working with the alchemy department. A job he quickly found himself bored with after a mere five years. At this time, Professor Dumbledore extended an offer for Severus to work at Hogwarts and teach Potions, as Professor Slughorn was retiring. Severus politely declined, and Professor Dumbledore then asked if Severus would _please_ take a temporary teaching position as he needed a teacher straight away for the new term. Severus accepted the temporary position, as he did not want to teach students as his career and made this clear to professor Dumbledore upon accepting the position, to which Professor Dumbledore agreed, he would continue looking for a permanent replacement for Professor Slughorn, but Severus would teach for him in the meantime.

The year is 1993, and it had been officially ten years since Severus Snape began teaching at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. What was meant to be a temporary position, turned into Severus Snape becoming Slytherin Head of House, Hogwarts Potions Master, and Permanent Potions professor.

After 3 years teaching Severus stopped asking Albus Dumbledore if he’d found a permanent replacement for the position and accepted the job as it was. He did not enjoy the students, he did not enjoy repeating himself multiple times a day, but he did it with the least amount of malice he could muster each day.

Today Severus had been summoned to Professor Dumbledore’s office, and Severus had no idea what the old man could want now. Severus knocks on the door to the Headmaster’s office and was met with a voice welcoming him inside, and the squeak of a Phoenix.

“Settle down Fawkes,” Dumbledore smiles over at his companion, who promptly becomes quiet.

Severus enters the room, “You wanted to see me, Professor,” Severus says standing in front of the desk.

“Yes Severus,” Dumbledore says pleasantly, “Would you like some tea, Severus?”

“No, thank you, Professor,” Severus says looking back at Professor Dumbledore.

“It appears I’ve found a permanent Potions Professor, should you still want to leave,” he says.

Leave? After ten years, this job had become Severus’s routine. It’s what he knew best, it’s what he’d done the longest, “I see,” Severus says.

“Now I do remember when we talked about your employment here, that you did not wish to teach students, but I have grown to truly enjoy having you on staff here,” Dumbledore continues, “So if you wish to keep your current position as Potions Master, I will allow you to stay on staff as head of the Potions department, minimal student contact,” Professor Dumbledore says.

Severus thinks about this proposition, this did sound better, like a promotion of sorts. He could stay on staff but could leave most of the students alone for the most part, “Would I remain head of Slytherin House?” he asks.

“Only if you wish Severus,” Dumbledore says, “I think it’s nice to have the students represented by an adult member of their own house, but my new Potions appointment could take on this role if you wish to give it up.”

“They’re not a Slytherin?” Severus asks curiously.

“They are not,” Dumbledore confirms, “However, they are more than capable of taking on the role of Head of House, should you wish to give this up.”

Severus is quiet for a moment before he decides, “I will keep my position as Head of House, and Potions Master, I will give up my teaching position.”

“Very well Severus,” Dumbledore smiles, “I do think this compromise will benefit all parties involved, I will have our new staff member report to the Head of the Potions department upon their arrival.”

“I assume this comes with a pay rise,” Severus says looking back at Professor Dumbledore.

“Of course, Severus,” Dumbledore smiles, giving him a small wink.

“And a bigger quarters,” Severus says next.

Dumbledore chuckles and nods, “Which office is it that you desire, Severus?”

“I want an office on the other side of the castle dungeons, away from the colony of Merpeople,” he says.

Dumbledore smiles, “Quarters with a view of the giant squid it is,” Dumbledore says.

“Thank you, Professor,” Severus says softly.

“You’re very welcome, Severus,” Dumbledore smiles, “Our new staff member should arrive sometime tomorrow.”

Severus nods in acknowledgment, “Goodnight Professor.”

“Goodnight Severus,” Dumbledore says with a smile.

Severus Snape returns to the dungeons, to pack his belonging and move them to his new living quarters.

It’s Friday before the start of term, and Severus is unpacking into his new office and living quarters. This side of the castle was much bigger than the other side. He’s sure this new office is twice the size of his old one, and he’s positive the entirety of his old bedroom and bathroom could fit inside just his new bathroom. Needless to say, Severus Snape was happy with this new arrangement with the Headmaster. And his new office was closer to the stores, so he wouldn’t have to walk nearly as far for ingredients.

Severus was unpacking the last of his books on his new bookshelf, he picks up his cup of tea and takes a sip as he gives the bookshelf one last look to make sure it was just as he liked it.

There was a knock at the door and Severus assumed it was the new potions professor.

“Enter,” he calls back.

“Good morning Professor Snape,” it was a voice Severus would recognize anywhere, a voice that stopped him in his tracks, the voice of an old lover.

Severus was so shocked by Sirius’s appearance in the doorway of his office, he dropped his cup of tea like a bumbling schoolgirl.

Sirius had his wand out just in time, “Arresto Momentum,” he speaks, catching the porcelain cup before it smashed into the ground, though he was unable to save the contents of the mug.

“Sirius,” Severus whispers, unable to wipe the shocked expression from his face.

“Hello Severus,” Sirius says, waving his wand to set the mug on the desk behind Severus.

“You’re the new Potions Professor?” Severus asks.

“Guilty,” Sirius says.

Severus swallows, moving to sit at his new desk, “Uh, have a seat,” he mutters, feeling completely thrown off his guard.

“Thank you,” Sirius says, taking a seat at the desk in front of Severus, setting his bag down on the floor beside him.

Good thing Severus made notes for this meeting because he would not have been able to remember a single thing, he wanted to go over had he been unprepared.

Severus unrolls a scroll of his notes and unrolls a blank scroll, so he could take additional notes. Severus clears his throat and pulls a quill out of his desk drawer along with an inkpot.

“Professor Sirius Black,” Severus mutters, writing his name on the blank scroll.

“Yes, sir,” Sirius acknowledges.

“Do you have previous teaching experience?” Severus asks nervously.

“I have previous training experience, I often trained new Hit Wizards and Witches, but not specifically teaching, and I don’t have experiences with children,” Sirius says.

Severus nods, “Okay,” Severus says, making a note to himself on the blank scroll, “You will teach students enrolled in Potions courses, including, remedial potions, core potions, advanced potions, and you will be in charge of the student-led Potions club, should a problem arise there, you’ll be expected to handle that,” Severus says.

“Okay,” Sirius nods.

“Now, let me see your lesson plans,” Severus says, looking up from his desk over at Sirius.

Sirius reaches into his bag, pulling out a scroll of parchment, handing it over to Severus.

Severus frowns taking the scroll from Sirius, “This is it?” he asks unrolling the scroll.

“I wasn’t sure how to prepare a lesson plan,” Sirius admits.

Severus sighs, pulling open a drawer on the bottom of his desk, pulling out a bound copy of his lesson plans setting them on top of the desk, “Familiarize yourself with the format,” Severus says, “Take inspiration if you need, but you will come up with your own lesson plans, for all of your assigned classes, I expect a lesson plan for all core potions classes, first through fifth years, a different lesson plan for every year, and I want it ordered by week, no skipping around the lesson plans, print them in the order you intend to teach them,” Severus says, “I also require a lesson plan for first-year remedial potions, as well as upper-level remedial potion students,” he continues, “I expect a lesson plan for sixth-year advanced potions, and for seventh year N.E.W.T potions, Seventh years will only learn from the N.E.W.T manuals.”

“If I chose to supplement?” Sirius asks.

“You may add to the curriculum, but you may not subtract,” Severus says firmly.

“Yes, Sir,” Sirius says going back to actively listening.

“I expect you to have a lesson plan for O.W.Ls separately from your regular fifth-year lesson plans,” Severus says, “I will provide you with the required texts, but I do expect you to seek your own potion manuals,” Severus says, pushing a stack of books he’d set on the desk earlier that day across the table to Sirius, “I expect to see all of your lesson plans on my desk Monday morning, by ten am, so that I may review them, and you can make any changes I deem necessary before the start of term.”

Sirius nods, he didn’t think it was an unreasonable request, but he did find himself wishing he had more time to create a lesson plan, “Yes, Professor.”

“I expect an outline of every essay you plan on assigning, and I expect a copy of every exam you plan on giving,” Severus says opening the bottom drawer on his desk again, retrieving another bound copy of his lessons, setting them on top of the desk.

“Would you also like those on your desk by Monday, Professor?” Sirius asks.

“So long as they are clearly marked in your lesson plans, which _will_ be on my desk by Monday, I can accept those at a later time.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Sirius says looking back at Severus.

“Do you need to familiarize yourself with the classroom?” Severus asks.

“Yes, please Sir,” Sirius says.

“Come along then,” Severus says getting up from his desk, walking down the hall and pointing out the small door at the end of the hall, “This is my personal overflow storeroom,” he says, “Some of these will be moving to my new office, if you need something from here, ask me first,” he says.

Sirius nods.

Severus walks around the corner to the main Dungeon hall, “The classroom is here,” he says, walking inside the potions class with Sirius in tow, “The student stores are behind that door there,” he says, “You may choose to have office hours in the back office here, or in your personal office, whichever you chose,” he says, “However, if you chose to use this office, you will be responsible for clearing out the spare cauldrons, as that room is currently being used for additional storage,” Severus says.

“Thank you, Professor Snape,” Sirius says softly.

“You will be in charge of knowing how many ingredients your students have available to them in the student stores, and you are responsible for making sure the student stores stay stocked, you will also be in charge of leaving lab time for the students to work on potions outside of class, students are expected to treat open lab as a library setting, you may tend to this yourself, or appoint a student to oversee the lab time,” Severus says, “Any questions?”

“No, I think you’ve explained it all quite well,” Sirius says looking back at Severus, “Thank you, Professor.”

“Very well,” Severus says quietly, “Let’s finish up then,” he says walking back to his office to finish acquainting Sirius with his new job.

Severus hands Sirius the necessary books and manuals, and a copy of his essay outlines, exam outlines, and a copy of his last year's lesson plans, “I expect my lesson plans and outlines to be returned to me when you’re finished,” Severus says.

“First thing Monday morning,” Sirius says softly.

“Very well,” Severus says, “If you don’t have any more questions, then I have some other work to be attending to.”

“Of course,” Sirius says, taking the books and manuals from the desk, “Thank you for your time, Professor Snape,” Sirius says before leaving his office, returning to his own office upstairs on the second floor.

The moment Sirius had left his office Severus slumped down into his chair, he couldn’t believe it, he was still in shock after seeing Sirius Black for the first time in over ten years.

Severus summons a glass and a bottle of gin and pours a generous amount of gin into the glass, before taking a sip.

Severus didn’t sleep well all weekend, all he could think about was Sirius, and that was never good for getting sleep. Severus rolls out of bed Monday morning promptly showers and makes himself a cup of coffee before walking down into his office.

Thirty minutes later there’s a knock on the door, “Enter,” Severus says.

“Good morning Professor,” Sirius says, “I’ve got the lesson plans you requested,” he says, setting two piles on the desk, one pile of Severus’s lessons, and a pile of his own lesson plans he’d come up with over the weekend.

Severus looks up at Sirius, and doesn’t even bother looking at his watch, he knew Sirius too well, “You’re late,” he says, “I said ten am, not ten-twenty.”

Sirius can’t help the small smile that appears on his lips, but he quickly wipes it away, “I apologize for my tardiness,” he says, “I was finalizing the lessons this morning, and lost track of time,” Sirius admits.

Severus sighs, “Have a seat,” he says, “Would you like some tea? Or coffee?”

“I would love a coffee,” Sirius says.

Severus summons a tray of hot coffee with milk and sugars, setting it on the desk in front of Sirius, as he begins to go over Sirius’s lesson plans.

“Thank you, Sir,” Sirius says as he begins to make himself a cup of coffee, and sits back in his seat, as Severus reads over his lesson plans.

“How long have you been teaching?” Sirius asks after a few minutes of silence.

Severus looks up at Sirius over the top of the page he was reading, Sirius never did do well with silence he remembers, “Ten years,” he murmurs.

“That’s a long time,” Sirius comments, “What made you want to stop?” he asks curiously.

Severus rolls his eyes, “It was supposed to be a temporary position,” he says.

“Ten years is a long temporary,” Sirius says.

“Sirius,” Severus says in a tone that made it clear, Sirius was talking too much. A tone that Sirius knew all too well.

“Sorry,” Sirius says softly, taking a sip of his coffee.

Severus gets to the end of his first-year lesson plans, and gives him a pass, before picking up Sirius’s remedial potions lesson plans, giving them a look over.

“What have you been doing for the last three years?” Severus asks quietly.

“Oh,” Sirius says, he hadn’t expected the personal question, but he was excited none the less, “Not a lot, honestly,” he admits, “After I lost my job at the Ministry, I just sort of got different hobbies,” he says, “I decided I needed a real job because I was bored at home,” he says, “And I was getting really unproductive.”

Severus sets the scroll down, looking over at Sirius, “Sirius, I’m sorry,” he says.

“It’s alright Severus,” Sirius smiles back at him, “I wish it had happened differently, but I feel better now it’s out there, no more hiding for Sirius Black.”

“I’m glad you found peace,” Severus says quietly picking up the scroll, starting to read again.

Sirius smiles, and sips his coffee, “So, how am I doing, Severus?” he asks pleasantly.

Severus narrows his eyes at Sirius over the top of the scroll he was reading, and Sirius immediately understood.

“Sorry,” he says, “How am I doing, Professor Snape?”

Severus rolls his eyes and tries not to let the contempt show on his face, Sirius Black, the world’s biggest smartass.

“I’ll let you know what corrections to make, in a few moments,” Severus says quietly, reading over the third scroll.

“What’s it like living here?” Sirius asks after a few more moments.

“It’s like living with five hundred children,” Severus answers with a roll of his eyes.

Sirius smiles, “That’s definitely a change of pace,” he says.

“You’ve been on your own for some time now,” Severus says softly, and he’d tried to remove any negativity from the sentences.

Sirius nods, he had been on his own now or a while, more so now that Wormtail had lost him his job.

Severus clears his throat, “I’m sorry, about your parents,” he says quietly.

“Thank you, Severus,” Sirius says, “It’s quite alright, quite time for the old bats to go, I think,” he says.

“They were still your parents,” Severus says.

“Oh, I know,” Sirius says, “But it was their time, all of ours will come one day,” he says looking back at Severus.

“You still have Regulus,” Severus says trying to sound casual, as he reads over the next scroll.

Sirius smiles, “Reg comes home more often than I expected,” he says, “I think he only comes home to see his lover that he assumes is a secret, but I’ve known about for years.”

Severus looks up at Sirius, “You always did share things with each other,” he says.

“He’s my brother,” Sirius says, “He’s a slimy git, but he’s my slimy git,” he says with a proud smile, “I told Reg first, you know,” he says softly, recalling the memory of when he told his brother his biggest secret.

_“Sirius,” Regulus says standing at the partially opened door._

_Sirius stands up from the opposite side of the bed, getting a look at Regulus standing on the other side of the door, “Come in, Reg, shut the door,” he says, not realizing he’d left it open._

_Regulus enters his brother’s bedroom, and shuts the door, as he watches Sirius turn down the record player._

_“What’s that?” Regulus asks looking at the record player._

_Sirius grins, “They’re called Pink Floyd,” he says, “Aren’t they brilliant?”_

_“They’re different,” Regulus decides after a moment._

_Sirius quickly wipes the smile from his face, “What’s wrong Regulus?” he asks getting a better look at his brother when he walked closer._

_“Oh,” Regulus says, “Nothing,” he says, quickly pulling the sleeve down on his shirt, covering his welts._

_“Did dad do that to you?” Sirius asks fiercely, pushing the sleeve back up to get a better look. The marks were angry and red, and pulsing, and the rage boiled over inside Sirius._

_“No,” Regulus says quietly, and truthfully._

_“Mum,” Sirius growls._

_“Sirius, please, just leave it,” Regulus mutters._

_“No, Regulus,” he says, “She can’t just do this to you.”_

_“It was my fault,” Regulus insisted._

_“No it wasn’t,” Sirius says firmly, “She’s the one who struck you, this is entirely her fault, I don’t care what you did or said Reg, there is no excuse for this.”_

_Regulus sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “She caught me doing something, naughty” he mutters, “In the park across the street.”_

_“I don’t care what you were doing Regulus, there is no excuse for this.”_

_“I kissed Kyle Broadman,” Regulus confesses._

_Sirius looks at Regulus, and immediately is flooded with additional anger, hurt, confusion, he didn’t know what to do with all these emotions, so he does the first thing he could think of, he blasts a hole through the wall with his wand._

_“Sirius!” Regulus says jumping up in a fright, “What did you do?!” he says hurrying to see the damage Sirius had done to their house. Sirius had blasted a hole in the wall that separated their rooms, and it was not small._

_Sirius sighs, “if she did that to you, for simply kissing a boy, imagine what she’d do to me.”_

_Regulus is sure Sirius had meant to keep that thought private, but he had just said it, and there was no way Regulus could ignore it._

_“Why would she do worse to you?” Regulus asks quietly._

_Sirius stares at Regulus with wide eyes, “What are you talking about Regulus?”_

_Regulus frowns, “You just said, ‘imagine what she’d do to me,’”_

_“No, I didn’t,” Sirius says firmly, “And don’t you go about repeating that,” he says._

_“I won’t tell Sirius,” Regulus says in a quiet voice._

_Sirius sighs sitting down on the floor, “I’ve been seeing someone,” he admits a moment later, “Not a girl.”_

_“I promise, I won’t tell anyone,” Regulus says quietly, “What’s it like?” Regulus asks next._

_Sirius smiles, over at his brother, “Oh Regulus,” he says, “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he says with a tiny wink._

_Regulus blushes and turns his cheek down._

_“Don’t worry, Reg, mum won’t ever touch you like that again,” Sirius says firmly, and Sirius made sure their mother never touched Regulus like that again. The very next time their mother threatened Regulus Sirius burned down the family Christmas tree, and his mother’s favorite antique piano._

“He said you burned down the family Christmas tree,” Severus murmurs.

Sirius laughs aloud, “He told you that?” he grins, “How embarrassing.”

“You’re a good brother,” Severus says quietly.

Sirius smiles, “I try.”

Severus rolls his eyes, and picks up another scroll, reading quietly.

“I expect you to get me new fifth-year lesson plans, and O.W.L. lessons,” Severus says after twenty minutes handing the lessons back to Sirius, “The fifth-year curriculum you have laid out is inappropriate, start over,” he says plainly.

“Which part of the lessons are inappropriate?” Sirius asks curiously, at the same moment a long strand of his hair came loose from his hair tie, falling over the front of Sirius’s shoulder in a long wave that stopped only at his waist.

“All of it,” Severus says, “Start over, you have an inappropriate mixture of potion levels here. Some are too easy, and others too advanced,” he says, “Stick with the appropriate level textbooks when making your lesson plans and use the O.W.L. manuals I provided you to come up with appropriate lessons.”

“Yes, Sir,” Sirius replies, tucking the long strand of loose hair behind his ear, “Anything else that I should attend to while I’m making these revisions?”

“Just have them on my desk by tomorrow,” Severus says quickly, unsure of why he’d just suddenly become so flustered with Sirius.

“Yes, Sir,” Sirius says, taking the scrolls from Severus as he hands them back to him, “Am I excused?”

“You’re excused,” Severus says, “But since you’re so far ahead, I want remedial exams and essays, on my desk when you return the fifth-year curriculum.”

Sirius looks over at Severus and wants to tell him to stop being such a prat, but instead, “Yes, Sir, I’ll have them on your desk first thing in the morning.”

Severus watches Sirius leave and shut the door behind him, and Severus gets up, walking to the table in the back corner of his office, pouring himself a glass of gin with shaking hands. Severus sighs heavily drinking back the gin quickly, he just needed to go to bed, this was too much for him to handle.

It’s after seven in the evening, and Severus was getting ready for bed. He’d just stepped out of the shower, and had slipped on his dressing gown, and was drying his hair with a towel when there was a knock on his door.

Who the hell could that be, at this hour? Severus thinks to himself, but walks to the door and opens it slightly, and is in shock to see Sirius standing on the other side of his door.

“What do you want?” Severus asks suddenly feeling much too exposed to be having any sort of conversation with Sirius Black right now.

“May I come in?” Sirius asks, “I’d like to talk.”

Severus clears his throat and tosses the towel in his hand to the other side of the room, and his hair immediately begins dripping down his back and over his shoulders, “Now is not a good time.”

“Please?” Sirius asks, and Severus is suddenly aware of how casually Sirius had decided to dress for this talk. Sirius was wearing his pajamas, was Sirius in bed and decided to just come down here?

“No,” Severus says firmly.

“It’ll be like a pajama party,” Sirius smiles.

Severus frowns, “We are adults,” he says, “In our thirties, grow up Sirius,” he says.

“I just want to talk Severus, please?” Sirius asks in a small pathetic voice, which Sirius must have known would make him say yes, even when he didn’t want to.

“Sirius now is not an appropriate time,” Severus says holding his stance.

“I brought whiskey,” Sirius says next, holding out a bottle of whiskey.

And Severus knows this is not going to end the way he wants it, “Take it back to your room then.”

“I’ve been having trouble sleeping,” Sirius admits.

“Then let me provide you with a sleeping draught,” Severus says rolling his eyes.

Sirius ponders this for a moment, “Alright,” he decides.

Severus frowns, “I-I wasn’t-“ he stops himself, “Fine,” he mutters, “Come in then,” he says, finally stepping aside.

Sirius smiles walking inside Severus’s bedroom, setting the whiskey on the table, as he takes a look around.

Severus makes sure his dressing gown was appropriately tied, before walking off to the kitchen, where he still had a box of potions he’d yet to unpack.

“This is nice,” Sirius comments.

Severus rolls his eyes, “I’ve not even finished unpacking,” he says plainly, searching for the sleeping potion, beginning to wonder if he’d drank them all.

“Severus,” Sirius was standing right behind Severus, when he says his name in a soft breathy way only Sirius Black could, which startles Severus causing him to drop a phial of wit-sharpening potion on the floor.

“Fuck,” Severus swears, quickly turning around to look at Sirius, “What the fuck are you doing, Sirius?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius admits, looking down at the spilled potion.

“Well back up,” Severus says fiercely.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius says, taking a few steps back, before sitting down in the chair at the other side of the kitchen.

“Sirius, you need to go,” Severus says, “You’re not going to find, whatever it is you came down here for tonight,” he says.

“I’ve known exactly where to find what I’ve been looking for,” Sirius says, “It’s been in the same place for ten years now.”

“This is an inappropriate conversation Sirius,” Severus says firmly, “I am your superior, and refuse to entertain whatever it is you’re thinking about right now.”

“You’re right,” Sirius says, “This is inappropriate, and I’m sorry,” he says, “I’ll go, but I need to know somethings first.”

“My personal life is not an open book for you to read at your leisure,” Severus says knowing exactly what Sirius wanted to talk about.

“Just answer the questions, and I’ll leave, nothing funny,” he insists.

Severus stays quiet, looking at Sirius, he didn’t specifically say no, but he didn’t exactly consent either.

“Did you like Parker Reid?” Sirius asks.

Severus rolls his eyes, “She was my girlfriend.”

“Why did you break up?” Sirius asks.

“It wasn’t working,” Severus says simply, “Sometimes people just aren’t meant for each other.”

“That’s what I told Riley,” Sirius says, more to himself.

Severus rolls his eyes, Riley Boland, Sirius’s temporary fling while he worked at the ministry.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Sirius asks next.

“That was a long time ago,” Severus says, “And we’re bridging into the inappropriate part of this conversation.”

Sirius sighs, “Long time ago, or not, I still have feelings for you,” he says looking up at Severus, “I’m thirty-three and still in love with the guy I dated when I was fifteen,” he says, “I tried dating others, but you were always the one that kept me up at nights.”

Severus felt the exact same way.

When Severus doesn’t say anything else to this, Sirius decides it’s his cue to leave, “Goodnight, Severus,” he says getting up.

Severus doesn’t say anything as Sirius leaves his room, he simply locks the door behind him and runs his hand through his damp hair.

In the morning Severus gets dressed, and makes himself a cup of coffee, walking into his office, where he was immediately met with a knock at the door, “Enter.”

Sirius Black walks through the door, holding out a stack of papers for Severus.

Severus takes the stack from Sirius, “Have a seat,” he says, as he sits down in his own chair, “Coffee?” Severus offers.

“No, thank you,” Sirius says softly, “I don’t like to have more than two cups in the morning.”

“Right,” Severus murmurs, reading over the revised lessons, “Much better,” he comments after a few minutes.

“Thank you, Sir,” Sirius says.

“I want the rest of your essay outlines, and exams on my desk by the end of the week,” Severus says looking back at Sirius.

“Of course,” Sirius says, “Thank you, Professor Snape.”

Severus watches as Sirius shows himself out of his office, and he immediately heads straight for the bottle of gin.

Sirius’s hands are warm, and his skin is soft when Sirius’s hands brush against the exposed skin at Severus’s neck, as he pushes the dark fabric of his robes off his shoulders. Severus’s body reacts to the touch of Sirius Black’s hand, as his hand caresses the back of his thigh. Severus Snape was like clay in the hands of a very talented sculptor, as Sirius knew exactly how to touch, where to touch, and how much pressure he should apply to cause the younger to melt and moan in a fit of pure pleasure.

Severus’s eyes spring open, he has a light layer of sweat on top of his skin, the alarm clock beside the bed, read 4:17. Severus sighs, pushing the sheets off his body, he was very aware of his arousal as he sits up on the edge of the bed, running his hands through his hair. He couldn’t have these dreams every night, it was really starting to interfere with his sleep and his performance, and he was already tired of this. Severus gets up and walks into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

Severus sees very little of Sirius Black until Friday when he expected to see him.

“Enter,” Severus calls, sitting at his desk when a knock on the door alerts him to Sirius’s presence.

“Good morning, Professor Snape,” Sirius says, walking inside closing the door behind him, before walking over to Severus, handing him a stack of papers.

“Have a seat,” Severus says softly, “Coffee, tea?”

“No, thank you,” Sirius says softly, sitting down in the chair as Severus goes over his work.

“I’m impressed,” Severus says upon finishing reading the lessons.

“Thank you, Sir,” Sirius says with a small smile.

“I will allow you to teach these lessons, should you feel it necessary to make changes to the lesson plans, I expect you to take it up with me first,” Severus says looking back at Sirius.

“Of course,” Sirius says.

“I will be watching your teaching for the first week,” Severus says, “I need to see your teaching style for myself,” Severus says leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Of course,” Sirius says, “Will I be graded?”

Severus rolls his eyes, “No,” he says looking back at Sirius, “But I need to understand your teaching styles if we’re going to be working together.”

“I understand,” Sirius says looking back at Severus.

Severus clears his throat, “The children will arrive in two days, I suggest you familiarize yourself with the rest of the castle if you need,” he says softly, “Now is also a good time to take inventory of the student stores and speak to Pomona if there are herbs you find yourself in need of, I also suggest you start up your own personal stores, I’m only using half of the storeroom down the hall, as I’ve moved most of my ingredients into my office, so you may use that space,” he says holding out a spare key to the storeroom down the hall.

“Oh,” Sirius says, not expecting this at all, “Thank you, Severus,” he says softly taking the key from Severus’s hand, “Pardon, Professor Snape.”

Severus swallows thickly, “You’re welcome,” he says, “If you need anything else, just come find me.”

“Thank you again, Sir,” Sirius says, before getting up and leaving Severus’s office.

September 1st,1993

Severus didn’t eat much at dinner, his stomach was in knots, he hadn’t slept much in the last week, the last bit of his sleeping draught should be ready tonight, so he could at least get some sleep tonight. It’s after dinner, and Severus is in his office trying to ward off the migraine he felt coming on.

Severus puts his head down on his desk and closes his eyes for a moment. Within moments his head was pounding, and he quickly turned off all the lights in an attempt to calm the blinding white light, he was experiencing from his migraine. He doesn’t even hear the knock on his office door, but he is very aware of the fact that he could feel Sirius’s hands on him, and for once he didn’t find it bothersome that he still _knew_ Sirius’s touch, after years trying to forget what that felt like.

“Sirius,” Severus whispers.

“Shh,” Sirius coos softly as not to talk too loudly, Sirius had seen Severus have migraines in the past, and knew exactly what this was the moment he saw Severus with his head down on the desk, “I’m just here to help,” Sirius says quietly, but even a soft whisper was much too loud for Severus right now.

Severus immediately covers his ears to block the sound, and he winces in pain.

Sirius does a silencing charm around the room and a light-blocking charm, which meant Sirius had to work by just the light at the tip of his wand to find what he needed. Sirius finds a phial of sparkling white potion on the shelf inside Severus’s office and puts out the light on his wand before walking back over to Severus.

Sirius pulls the stopper off the top of the potion, and gently feels for Severus’s hand, “Come on, Sev,” he whispers, and immediately finds more than what he was looking for and quickly pulls his hand back.

Severus groans in discomfort, as Sirius’s hand probe around him, “Stop touching me,” he grumbles.

“I’m just trying to give you a migraine potion,” Sirius says quietly, “Give me your hand.”

“Just, bin,” Severus mutters.

“Oh,” Sirius says and quickly feels beside the desk for the bin he knew was there, placing it at Severus’s feet, “There.”

Not a second later, Severus had vomited into the bin.

Sirius gently strokes his hand over Severus’s back and was a little surprised when he heard him vomit into the bin a second time and thinks he should get Poppy when he hears him vomit for the third time.

“Severus,” he says quietly.

“Water,” Severus says hoarsely.

Sirius conjures a glass, and promptly fills it with water, “Give me your hand,” Sirius says softly.

Severus slowly extends his hand and Sirius finds it a moment later, placing the glass of water in Severus’s hand slowly helping him to bring the glass to his lips. Sirius places the glass on the desk when Severus indicates he was done with it.

“Here,” he says softly, “Take this potion,” he says placing the potion phial in Severus’s hand.

Severus drinks the potion and sets the phial down on the desk.

Sirius is quiet for a few minutes before asking, “Do you need an anti-nausea potion?”

“Maybe,” Severus says quietly, as he sets his head back on the edge of the desk.

“I’ll find one,” Sirius whispers, “Close your eyes,” he says, before lighting the end of his wand to search the shelves once again.

Sirius returns to Severus with the potion a moment later, as he turns the light out, “Here you go,” he says taking the stopper out of the potion, placing it in Severus’s hand.

Severus drinks the potion and sets the phial down on the desk.

“You need to lie down,” Sirius says a moment later.

Severus nods in agreement.

“Let me help you,” Sirius says softly.

Severus agrees and allows Sirius to help him up and to his bedroom, slowly.

Sirius helps Severus sit down on the edge of the bed and he hands him another glass of water, which Severus drinks until the glass is empty.

Sirius takes the glass, setting it on the nightstand and helps Severus out of his robes and gets him into bed and pulling the covers over him, knowing Severus must be cold.

Sirius is awoken by an alarm clock going off, and he jumps in surprise, “What?” he mumbles, startled. It’s that moment he realizes he’s not in his own bed. He’s not in any bed, he’d been curled up in a large armchair, and this isn’t even his bedroom. He was in Severus’s bedroom.

“Oh Merlin,” he mutters running his hands through his hair, as he uncurls himself from the chair and stretches out his body.

The alarm clock is silenced, and Severus is sitting up on the edge of the bed, “Good morning.”

“Morning, Severus,” Sirius says, “Figured it’s alright to call you by your first name since I slept in your room all night,” he mutters.

“Shut it,” Severus says in a tone that makes it clear he was in no mood for funny Sirius Black today.

Sirius chuckles, stretching his body, “I’ll see you for first lesson then.”

Severus is pulling on his dressing gown, when he glances over his shoulder at Sirius, “Thank you,” he says, “For last night.”

Sirius smiles, “Of course,” he says softly before showing himself out, heading back to his room to shower and dress for the day.

Severus walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower. Severus had elected not to have breakfast this morning but instead tends to his office before going to Sirius’s first lecture, where he sits in the back in a chair near the bookshelves, while he takes notes of his ability to teach a class.

“Was that satisfactory, Professor Snape?” Sirius asks at the end of his first lesson, once all the students have left the classroom.

“Satisfactory,” Severus supplies.

Sirius goes home for Christmas, spends it with Regulus, and Severus stays at Hogwarts to watch after the few Slytherins who stayed behind. Severus is surprised to see Sirius on boxing day but welcomes the company anyways.

Sirius supplied a beautifully spiced mead which Severus did partake in. Sirius had made it very clear that he wanted this job and he could do this job, and he was able to put their past behind him in order for them to work together as professionals.

This is why Severus was very surprised to find himself in a compromising position with Sirius Black, just a few short weeks later, in their shared storeroom.

Sirius’s lips tasted like licorice, and Severus had managed to pull the hair tie out of Sirius’s hair, and the waist-length waves immediately surrounded Sirius’s face, which only encouraged Severus to continue pushing the hair out of their faces as they kissed behind the locked storeroom door.

When Severus calls Sirius to his office at the end of February, it was clear that he wasn’t very impressed at the moment.

“Yes, Professor Snape, you wanted to see me,” Sirius says knocking on the door, even though it was open slightly.

“Yes,” Severus says, “Shut the door, and have a seat.”

Sirius reminds himself that this was a serious conversation, and he did not need to be thinking about how cute Severus’s bum looked right now.

Severus walks away from the cauldron he was working in and walks over to the desk sitting down and looking over at Sirius, suddenly very aware of the white tint around Sirius’s lips and wonders if he’d been outside in the snowstorm, and has his suspicions confirmed by the few snowflakes he sees in Sirius’s hair, “Tea?” he offers him.

“Oh yes, please,” Sirius says quickly.

Severus waves his wand, summoning a tea tray setting it on the desk in front of Sirius, who makes himself a cup of hot tea.

“I take it you were outside,” Severus says softly.

“Just left the greenhouses for some herbs,” Sirius confirms.

Severus nods, waiting for Sirius to finish making his tea before he looks down at the grade book in front of him, “Tell me why I see an 85% failure rate here.”

Sirius looks at Severus, as he sips his tea, settling for holding the warm mug between his hands, “Is that the third years, Doxicide?” he asks.

“Yes,” Severus confirms.

“I think I was not clear with the students in my lecture,” Sirius admits, “I plan on revising with them tomorrow.”

“An 85% failure rate is unacceptable,” Severus says firmly.

“I understand,” Sirius agrees, “Do you have a suggestion on how I should rectify this.”

Severus takes out a single scroll from his desk drawer, handing it to Sirius, “Study,” he says, “I will be in your class to see your revised lesson tomorrow afternoon.”

“Yes, Sir,” Sirius says, taking the scroll from Severus, “Thank you, Professor Snape.”

Friday evening, Severus Snape steps aside allowing Sirius to enter, he shuts the door behind him and Sirius immediately questions him.

“Why do we pretend to be working, when we do this?” Sirius asks, “We’re allowed to have personal time, and what we do on our personal time is our own business.”

Severus rolls his eyes, “I don’t know Sirius,” Severus says, “The idea still makes me uncomfortable, thinking I’m taking advantage of you in a way.”

“No one’s taking advantage of anyone,” Sirius says firmly, “We’re both adults, and,” he pauses for a moment, “We’re in love.”

“I’m still your superior,” Severus says quietly.

“You’re not paying me,” Sirius insists, “Dumbledore pays me, and I’m not sleeping with him,” he says, “We’re equals,” Sirius says looking at Severus, this did make it sound better, and it was true he wasn’t paying Sirius, so he couldn’t really be taking advantage could he?

“I don’t want to think about this right now,” Severus murmurs.

Sirius places his hands on Severus’s waist, gently turning him to face him, “Hey,” he says softly.

Severus gives in, turning his eyes to look back at Sirius.

“I’d never make you do something you don’t want, okay?” he asks, “If you want to stop, then we can stop.”

Severus sighs, “I don’t want that.”

Sirius leans over, pressing a gentle kiss to Severus’s lips, “What do you want darling?”

Severus is quiet for a few moments, as he takes in Sirius standing in front of him. He was beautiful, “All of you,” Severus says a moment later, gently pulling Sirius’s hair loose.

Sirius smiles gently shaking his hair free before gently reaching over, tucking the longer strands of Severus’s jet black hair behind his ear, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Severus says softly, before kissing Sirius on the lips.

Sirius smiles against Severus’s lips as he kisses him back, gently pulling him back toward the bed. Sirius leans back on the bed and Severus is pulling at the button of Sirius’s trousers, sliding the zipper open pulling the trousers off Sirius’s hips. Sirius quickly works open the buttons on Severus’s robes as Severus pulls down Sirius’s pants, leaving them in a pile on the floor beside his trousers. Severus kneels down onto the floor in front of the bed, quickly taking Sirius’s half-hard cock into his hand stroking him with a lazy wrist, rubbing his thumb over the head the way he remembered Sirius liked.

Sirius groans arching his back as his eyes slip shut, as Severus continues stroking his cock.

“Fuck,” Sirius swears when he opens his eyes to see Severus wrapping his lips around his cock, taking Sirius into his mouth. Severus spreads his knees further as he sinks down onto the floor, taking more of Sirius into his mouth and Sirius began panting and moaning, his hands tangled into Severus’s hair as he lifts his hips and fucks Severus’s mouth.

This wasn’t Severus’s favorite part, he liked to be in a little more control but he allowed Sirius to keep him where he wanted him, for now.

When Sirius began swearing in a breathy way, Severus decided it was time enough for him. Severus reaches back pulling Sirius’s hand from his hair and turning his eyes up at Sirius, and Sirius relaxes his hand and meets Severus’s eyes, and the fact that his dick was still in Severus’s mouth, only made Sirius want him that much more.

Severus pulls off, gently wiping the excess saliva off his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Remove your shirt,” Severus says as he pushes himself up from the floor, letting his open robes fall off his shoulders and onto the floor.

Sirius tosses his shirt down on top of Severus’s robes and moves further back on the bed to make room for his lover. Severus opens the drawer on the bedside table, and Sirius reaches inside pulling out a bottle of lubricant. Severus watches him for a moment.

“Eager, are we,” Severus says as he closes the drawer.

“Yes,” Sirius says plainly, he knew what he wanted and he wanted it right this minute.

“What do you want, Sirius?” Severus asks kneeling onto the bed watching Sirius pop the top on the bottle of lubricant.

Sirius slowly parts his knees, “I want you to fuck me,” Sirius says plainly, as he pours some lubricant onto his hand coating his fingers, as he reaches between his legs.

“No,” Severus says softly, “No,” he says as Sirius has two fingers pressed against his entrance, “You don’t need it,” Severus says taking the lubricant from Sirius.

“But I want it,” Sirius whined.

“I want to make you come, all on my own,” Severus says, “Isn’t that what you really want?”

Sirius bites his lip, but nods and pulls his fingers back, “Yes, I want you, now, please,” he says in a needy whine.

“Good boy,” Severus purrs, pouring some lubricant onto his hand gently stroking his cock applying some lubricant, as he moves into the vacant space between Sirius’s legs on the bed.

A delighted sigh of pleasure leaves Sirius’s lips, as Severus’s cock presses into him, with an amount of control that Sirius could never muster in such an aroused state. But Severus was a master at many things.

“Oh, Severus,” Sirius moans, his eyes slipping shut as Severus slowly enters him.

It happens often, that Severus either _gives up_ his control or loses it somewhere along the way, in a fit of passionate arousal. Sirius has Severus pressed down against the mattress, moaning loudly as he fucks himself on Severus’s cock. Severus’s hands are gripping Sirius’s hips so tightly, he can already see the bruising forming, and he growls with arousal.

Sirius comes with Severus’s name on hips lips and Severus is close behind, unable to stop himself pulling hard on Sirius’s hair as he comes, something that Severus doesn’t mean to do, but that Sirius not so secretly likes.

“This is the worst part,” Sirius mutters in his post-orgasm haze.

Severus laughs lightly, “Why? Because it’s over?”

“Yeah,” Sirius says, moving to lay down on the bed beside Severus laying his head on Severus’s chest.

Severus sighs softly, content with gently stroking Sirius’s hair.

“I’m going to shower,” Sirius says turning his face up to look at Severus, after about fifteen minutes lying together.

Severus nods, watching Sirius push his long hair to one side as he leans up to kiss him. Severus smiles kissing Sirius back, before watching his love rise from the bed and walk into the bathroom. Severus lies still for another few moments before getting up, picking up his robes from the floor tossing them onto the floor of his wardrobe for washing later. Severus slips on his dressing gown and begins to tidy up, changing the bedsheets with a spell, assuming they would want fresh sheets in just a few hours' time. Severus picks up Sirius’s shirt and tie from the floor, and has a small smirk on his face, Sirius had worn his favorite tie but it wasn’t his favorite for the way it looked on Sirius, but for the things, only they knew, they had done with this tie. Severus begins to think about how it had been a while since he indulged in this specific fantasy, and suddenly knows exactly what he wanted to do with his lover when he returned from his shower. Severus picks up Sirius’s trousers from the floor and looks down at his feet when he notices something tumble from the pocket.

“Sirius Orion Black.”

Sirius stills his hands, which he had been using to wash his hair. He knew that tone of voice, it was the tone Severus used when he would call him to his office for a serious conversation, it was the tone of voice that meant Severus was not at all impressed with him. It was the tone of voice that meant he was in very big trouble. But never before had his middle name been brought along with this tone of voice, “Oh fuck,” he swears, unsure of what he could have done to make Severus this upset with him in the time he’d been in the shower, “Yes, Love?” he asks poking his head from around the shower curtain.

“I need to speak with you right now,” Severus says as calmly as ever, choosing to ignore the suds of shampoo which were atop Sirius’s long mane of hair.

“Alright,” Sirius says still wondering what this conversation could be about, “I’ll just finish my hair and-“

“I said right now,” Severus says firmly.

Sirius swallows thickly, “Right,” he murmurs, “I’ll be right out.”

Severus turns around walking back out of the bathroom, pulling out a chair, and sitting down at the table crossing his leg over his knee as he waits for Sirius.

Sirius quickly rinses his hair out before stepping out of the shower, wrapping his long hair up in a towel, set neatly upon the top of his head, before slipping on his dressing gown and stepping into the bedroom to see what had gotten Severus so upset with him.

“Oh fuck,” Sirius says when he sees Severus sitting at the table with his legs cross hands clasped around his knee, perfect posture, though it wasn’t Severus’s perfect posture that had caused him to swear, it was what was sat on the edge of the table between them that had caused this foul language to escape Sirius’s mouth.

“Right,” Severus says looking up at Sirius, “Go on, try and explain yourself.”

Sirius doesn’t know how to respond to this, “What were you doing with my trousers?” Sirius asks next.

Severus narrows his eyes at Sirius, “Tidying up,” he says plainly, “No explanation, I see.”

“Now, now,” Sirius says quickly, “It just so happens I do have an explanation,” Sirius says, “I just didn’t foresee this moment happening with such little clothing on,” he mutters.

“I’m waiting,” Severus says, unable to hide the annoyance in his voice.

“Merlin Severus,” Sirius says, “You act like you don’t know an engagement ring when you see one,” he says rolling his eyes.

“I know very well what I am looking at,” Severus says looking at Sirius, “What I don’t know is why you have one in your trouser pocket.”

“Well,” Sirius says crossing his arms over his chest, becoming flustered for the first time. Sirius looks from Severus back down to the white gold ring, which sat neatly in its box on the edge of the table, before looking back at Severus’s expressionless face.

Severus looks back at Sirius, “If I do recall correctly-“

“Severus, don’t,” Sirius says in a warning tone that signified he was at his wit's end.

Severus can’t help the way the left side of his mouth turns up slightly in the tiniest of smirks. If Sirius didn’t know Severus so well, he wouldn’t have even known it was there, but he did know Severus, better than anyone else, “If you’d rather just forget about it then fine, but don’t bring that up again, I don’t need a reminder of the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life,” he says rolling his eyes.

“Fine,” Severus says looking back at Sirius, “Then are you going to tell me why this is here?”

“I don’t even want to ask you anymore,” Sirius decides a moment later.

“Liar,” Severus says without missing a beat. Severus unclasps his hands, leaning back in his chair and uncrosses his legs, in a much more relaxed position.

“I hate you,” Sirius says watching the way a smile _threatens_ to appear on Severus’s lips, but Severus was much more controlled with his body than anyone Sirius had ever known. He always had been. It was part of what attracted him to Severus from the very moment that they had met.

Sirius had always been intimidated by Severus until he actually talked to him and realized that the hard exterior was just a front for the gentle boy behind that long dark hair.

_Severus’s mother is buying him secondhand robes, and Sirius’s mother is buying him new robes. Sirius notices a boy his own age, a boy he knew from school but had never actually made an effort to talk to or get to know. The boy always seemed so intimidating to him before, but Sirius was bored waiting for his mother to finish shopping for Regulus, and Sirius notices Severus already has his books for the school year and is surprised._

_“You’re getting an early start on reading,” Sirius says watching the boy with dark hair._

_Severus blushes lightly, slowly pushing the long strands of hair out of his face tucking them behind his ear, as he notices the boy talking to him._

_“Uh, yeah, we just picked up some books from Flourish and Blotts,” he says quietly, watching the boy with long black hair. Watching the way his hair curled in loose waves, halfway down his back. Severus wondered if his hair would ever be that long. It was past his shoulders currently. Severus was sure the boy could be mistaken for a girl, he had very soft features, and was very pretty in the way some girls were._

Those rare moments when Sirius saw Severus lose control, even if just for the briefest of moments were his favorite, they showed just how much Sirius could get under his skin when no one else could, and it made Sirius happy to be able to see Severus on a similar playing field to himself, even if Sirius was aware of the fact that 99% of the time he couldn’t compete with Severus on this front.

Sirius sighs softly walking over to Severus, picking up the ring off the table removing it from its box, and placing the empty box back on the table.

“Severus Snape,” Sirius says softly, sitting down on Severus’s lap which causes Severus to roll his eyes but places his hand around Sirius’s waist without even thinking about it.

“Will I marry you?” Sirius asks slipping the ring onto his own ring finger, glancing down at the jewelry now sat on his finger.

Severus smiles softly, watching the way the ring fits a little too snugly on Sirius’s finger, “You will,” he says looking into Sirius’s sparkling grey eyes.

Sirius grins wrapping his arms around Severus’s neck, pressing his lips against Severus’s as he kisses him.

“You always taste of licorice,” Severus murmurs after a moment of kissing.

Sirius grins, “I know how much you like it,” he says, kissing Severus once again. Without breaking their kiss, Sirius manages to pull the tight ring off his finger and slips it onto Severus’s finger, where it was a perfect fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, who has taken the time to read this story!!! A very special thank you to those of you who have left beautiful comments on this story, and those of you who've left kudos, I appreciate you all so very much!!!! I so appreciate your time!!! And I do hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!!! AU's are quite different and it is nice to get out of the cannon universe from time to time. Thank you all so very much!!!! And remember lovelies, spread love not hate ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!! I really appreciate you so much!!! I hope you enjoyed this fic! And hope to see you next week for part 2! I wish you all a fantastic week and remember spread love, not hate ♥


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